On Caring:

Some of the accounts presented in the Rolon-Dow article were disheartening at best. It was depressing to read Ms. Nadler’s response to the changes in the community, as she regarded “diversifying” as “getting worse.” More-so, Mr. Weiss’ account of the view of the school was also less than pleasing, as community members saw it as a “necessary evil.” How bad has it gotten over there, that education is looked at as such a triviality? James Middle School, the school in question, is in the the Northeastern United States (sound familiar?). Attitudes, like Ms. Nadler’s, are ones that I equate with border guards and the 1950’s, and are not making a bad situation any better. You can’t blame a community for being of any background. Walmart doesn’t carry neighborhoods of white people for restocking your town.
The comments about parent’s not caring is a something we’ve also covered in class. In many cases, the parents have been unable to help, typically due to some form of inadequacy: unfamiliarity with the topic, or inability to communicate appropriately with their kids. One teacher mentioned that she knew it was wrong to “put my values on these kids.” While it is important to let the parent be the parent, why can’t we, as teachers, instill social values in our students? We are not robots. We have the ability to determine between right and wrong. Why can’t we pass that along? I understand that we shouldn’t be pressing any religious matters in school, and that’s fine, but to my knowledge, no religion has a copyright on being a good person.
I think my least favorite, and yet, most intesting account was Mr. Rosenfield describing his interaction with a student’s mother. He insulted the student’s home life, by suggesting she grew up in a barn, and when the parent came, he supposedly convinced her that it was the daughter that had the problem, not he or the parent. Now, this parent, according to Mr. Rosenfield has not been around the school to often, so it is clear that his comment really insulted her, to the point where she would visit the school in person. I wish we had gotten a taste for this mother’s life beyond her interaction with Mr. Rosenfield, because I am willing to bet she was a struggling to be a parent, either financially, or within the relationship of mother-child. I say this because the insulting comment was in regards to her ability to keep a clean home. If I was working my butt off, and someone had the nerve to make a comment like that, I’m sure that I’d be upset, too. I think I am most disappointed in Mr. Rosenfield for not understanding his student (regardless of parental contact over the school year), and for failing to recognize how such a little comment could leave such a negative impact on his relationship with a student. His inability in handling a parent interaction also made the situation worse. He openly talked about how the student was bad, not her behavior or actions. He was unable to get any real information from the parent (like if there was something he should know about the student or her home life), because he asked less questions than he offered criticism. His comments regarding the student were general and unspecific, most likely due to any observations of the student being undocumented. To top it all off, he didn’t offer any sort of plan for improvement.
If I was in a similar situation to Mr. Rosenfield’s, I would be sure to have documented any negative behaviors exhibited by the student, not just that “today Jimmy was bad,” or “Stephanie was a pain in the butt.” Once these have been shared with parent, it’s important to come up with a way of correcting the behavior. Scare tactics are only effective if the target is given a strategy or option to avoid danger or failure. Further, if I am getting the idea that I am viewed as the “bad guy,” then I’d be very quick to find out why. Maybe I didn’t realize the thing I said was offensive to the student or their family. Maybe I’ll have an opportunity to redeem myself, as I would want the student to be able to redeem his/her self.
Ideally, a teacher should be able to relate to their students. If this is not happening, the teacher needs to find out why. Ask questions. Call the parents (not every parental phone call is bad news!). The Caring Theory places such an importance on the relationship with a foundation of trust between student and teacher, and a student isn’t going to be the forger of this relationship, it’s the responsibility of the teacher.